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When the universe shits on you, there's always TP.

When the world is feeling like the proverbially shit-show, we can find we actually have all the resources inside and around us to deal with it.

Part 1: Shit Reigns.

Ahhhh dem “the universe is shitting on everything I love” feels. Or a dirty street pigeon is. Same-same its all coming from the fucking sky. Let me share a little yarn with you on the topic, to help you see that you've actually GOT THIS. And you've always had it, you're always gonna have it.

We roll back to early 2018...I had just found out the guy I was seeing was probably due for a blockbuster special on Cheaters (read: feeling like the universe shat on me) as he was at the time engaged to someone else. I was shocked, appalled, hurt but mostly angry that I should be gifted this display of fuckery by the powers above. This was not the first docket ripped from my book of fuckery receipts after all.

Anyway, after engaging in some anger house cleaning/power-vacuuming listening to power-chick power-ballads on Spotify to remind myself exactly what a strong bad-ass I was (Yes, Gloria Gaynor.. I WILL surive), I thought I’d console myself with a short stroll in the freshness of “the outdoors” and a chocolate Paddlepop, as an alternative to drowning in my own tears and self-pity. I set off to the 7-11.⠀

Part 2: Shit Rains.

My stroll to the 7-11 was multi-purpose because during my pre-trip wee I’d discovered OF COURSE that I had also run out of toilet paper. OF COURSE. (my victim game was very strong at this point).⠀

I completed the first 400m leg without incident. The purchases of said Paddlepop and loo paper went smoothly, the prices were exorbitant as you've expect from a Paddington 7/11 but that is neither here nor there at this point, just another tribulation to add to this shit-pile of a day.⠀

I commenced the homeward journey with my twenty dollars/4 rolls of Sorbent Cottonelle, lost in the sweet sweet escape one finds eating a Paddlepop in the sunshine when: A BIRD SHITS ON MY FACE.⠀


I commenced the homeward journey with my 4 rolls of Sorbent Cottonelle in the kind of sweet sweet escape one finds eating a Paddlepop in the sunshine when: A BIRD SHITS ON MY FACE.⠀

Part 3: The Reckoning.

But what did I hold in my hand, as that dirty bird's excrement ran down my forehead? Oh yes.⠀

4 rolls of THE product designed with the single sole purpose of CLEANING UP SHIT.⠀

And I thought ahhhh universe you are a bit of a funny fucker aren’t you.

I’ll throw you a laugh for that one Champ and yeah Namaste I get it and I GOT IT. 🙏🏼⠀

Part 4: The Lessons

We’ve actually always got the resources we need to succeed, around us or inside of us, not matter what we are faced with. It might not always be as obvious as shit on your face and TP, but they are there and it may be a matter of pausing for a lil cheeky search.

Maybe internally you need calm, or confidence or motivation? You've had it before, you can have it now. Go back to that memory, channel that time you had that emotion or state and feel yourself turning up the intensity of it until it's strong and in the present with you. Can't think of a time? Then think of another person in a time who had that attribute/emotion/state - imagine jumping into their being/body at that time, feel what you imagine they feel. The do the same - turn up the intensity, feel it - then jump out carrying that state with you, knowing you have it and can draw on it anytime.

Sometimes the resource we need is external - we actually need a new skill or a new capability; is there someone around us that could teach us? Or do we need a professional or a course or a book or an app?

You've got this SO VERY MUCH. You are McGyver. You will find what it takes to get through 100% of your "universal dump".

There’s a lesson in every event. You're never really just being shat on - try asking yourself, what is the feedback on what I can do differently, a new perspective or approach you can take if this were to happen again. ⠀



Thanks for checking out The Flog...

I'm the 'Boxy' behind the Katboxy. On the weekends you can find me drinking margys, dishing out sass, doing Pilates/Pie&Lattes & making bulk submissions to "Overheard on Bumble". 

I am a trained NLP Coach, I nerd it up working in IT & as a single gal, I curiously navigate the process that is dating our peen-wielding members of society.

What gets my nipples hard? Swearing like a pirate-hooker while helping people understand how their sub-conscious programming is creating how they experience life and how they can seek a new perspective.

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